Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize