there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
