is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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