Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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