woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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