"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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