oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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