I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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