Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
