sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
