The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
