How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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