no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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