really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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