What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
