Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
