I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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