Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
