Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
