So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
