How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
no, he came in my armpit
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
