I need help removing her.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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