we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dick very happy bro
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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