My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
