wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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