Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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