Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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