Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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