i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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