I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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