So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
