I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
