I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
