What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
