I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
