I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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