I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
