Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Vodka?
Forever.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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