I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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