i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
