Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize