I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize