You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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