I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
