No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
