one two three fourrrrnication!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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