I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
