lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
