Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
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What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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