Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
