i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
