Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
