I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
