I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Randomize
