I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
