dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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